I can't take it anymore. I am so sick and tired of pass the buck. Let me tell you the latest in the long list of disregard for my son. On Saturday Joseph started reporting hallucinations both auditory and visual. He was not dangerous but he was scared. Asking me "Mom when will all of this stop?" I called the group home because he was on a home visit and they told me to take him for evaluation so I did. I went to my ER where I trust everyone. The care we had there was amazing and I thought finally we will get somewhere when the attending seeing him didn't just blow it off as a psych issue and said lets get him down to Cincinnati Children's where they can evaluate him for medical reasons and admit him to get some answers. I was elated. So transport comes to take him and I follow. After we arrive and our put in a room we see a medical student for about 10 minutes and some blood work is ordered. After several hours a different medical student comes in and says "everything looks OK and if you are comfortable we will discharge him since he has a neuro appointment so close the neuro fellows believe he can just be seen than, we want to call out to psych and see what they think." Needless to say I was not happy. I told the medical student No psych does not need to be called, he is followed very closely by psych already and is in a treatment facility. He left the room and than the attending finally came in. She went through the same speech and when she was finished I told her, "if all you were going to do was blood work and send us home there was no need to have us transferred here in the middle of the night, the hospital we were at could've done that, you couldve called neuro before hand and seen if they had any idea about admitting him and saved us the trip, the expense and the stress for Joey." So after 25 hours awake we were no better than before we went.
Not only am I exhausted but I am upset. I feel all alone on this. I know my friends and family are supportive of everything but the weight of all of this is crushing me. I feel that I should do this on my own. Someone said some interesting things to me through this ordeal that this can be an inconvenience to everyone. I feel if that is the case I am better off doing it alone. It might be difficult for me to do but better to do than burden others. I plan to move forward and pick myself up. I will continue to fight for Joseph and I will not give up till someone can give me some answers. I love my children with all my heart and I have discovered that their well being is front and center in my life and will always be that way. Maybe I just don't have room for anyone else because when things get tough so far all I have ended up with is more hurt knowing that those who should be there feel its an inconvenience.
Joey has his appointment in one week and at that point I hope and beg that this doctor will listen and say I won't stop till I have an answer, but my faith in that is teasted....
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