It just keeps falling apart

Im not exactly sure what happened in October but it started small. Joseph was having difficulty with school and at home. He had quit football which was okay because those meat head, over weight wanna be pro football once were good 30 years ago coaches sucked every joy out of the game for Joey. Anyway it all started to fall apart and with each incident things got worse. Joseph was doing the in and out dance of hospitalization again. I cant even count how often we had to have police come to our house. I was getting phone calls from the school that Joey was becoming so aggressive and violent he would have to be removed.

I was starting down the path of residential for Joseph again and happy to find out that our insurance through my work had Cincinnati Childrens as their in network provider for residential. I did not get help from the hospital to help set up the referral for Joseph so it was up to me. I called Cincinnati Childrens and they remembered me from before. Joseph had no problem meeting their criteria and being excepted. But the insurance.... By the time we had gotten to this point Joseph had been hospitalized in Ohio 6 times. The insurance denied Joseph stating that we had not exhausted our efforts for less intensive means of treatment. Excuse me here but what the hell hadn't we tried!!!!!!!!! Meanwhile while fighting with the insurance Joey kept deteriorating. We couldn't get Joseph on medicaid for supplemental insurance because Paul and I make too much money lol.  We enlisted the help of Child Services. This would take us down another path. Our fist case worker was great she got to witness Joseph at his finest. He had been kicked out of school because of violence and was having a meltdown when she showed up at our house. We had meeting after meeting with every service the county had to offer. The problem was none of what they could give us we hadn't done for years already. We were getting nowhere with the insurance so child services started looking into being able to fund part of his stay at a facility. The day after Joseph was denied again by our insurance I received a phone call from his school. Joseph was with the school police officer and I needed to come pick him up. Joseph had assaulted his teacher. We had him admitted to the hospital again. I could not believe no one could help us. Assaulting teachers, jumping out of our car on the interstate, giving me a bloody lip, how could he not meet their "medical necessity"?!

Joseph had missed every holiday with us because he would end up in the hospital. child services eventually placed him in a therapeutic foster home till we could get funding lined up for residential. Joseph had problems in the foster home too. No matter where he went he was getting worse. Christmas was fast approaching a Christian was coming to visit. Joseph was going to come home to us for the holiday. He was home less than 6 hours. Joseph's I pod was not charged and wouldn't work right but he wanted it now! I told him he would need to wait until it charged and that set him off. He came at me swinging and screaming. I picked up max to get him out of the way as Joseph began throwing things. I made it to the kitchen where Joey cut me off and grabbed a BBQ fork, raising it up he charged at Max and I. I pulled the baby into our half bath and called the police. I could hear the destruction going on outside the door as I told dispatch to hurry. I thought he was going to break the door in. I heard the police come through the front door and started shouting stop police! Joseph took off outside and was running from them. The police officer got a hold of Joey and Joey kicked him several times. I stood in the house surveying the damage. The bathroom door had a dozen holes in it. All my Christmas nutcrackers were knocked over several of them broken. There were holes in the walls, an overturned table and broken lamp. The police officer told me not to touch anything. It was some officers I knew they had been here before. The officer asked what they are doing to try and get Joseph treatment and I gave him the short version of the story. They called the district attorney and filed a report this time with the hopes that with court involvement they could order treatment and the insurance company couldn't do anything about it at that point. So right before Christmas away Joey was again to the hospital.
After the first of the year it had been decided that Joey would go to treatment we were just waiting on Child services director to say yes to funding. We were running out of time on the therapeutic foster home and couldn't safely bring him home either. When we finally got an answer it was the worst choice of my life to make. I got a phone call at 6 pm and was told that Child services could fund Joseph's visit if we gave temporary custody to the state. To make matters worse I only had till midnight to make the choice because once I got paid at midnight we would have "too much money". After all the fighting and pushing I would have to give him up to get him help. Now everyone will say its only on paper and just for funding but does it really matter? We are still decision makers for him in a round about way and still 100% involved but this is what I have to do to get him help. I cried for days. I couldn't believe I had to do this. Joseph was transferred in the beginning of January to the facility and that is where he is today. We see him every week and talk to him everyday. I see such little improvement at this point I don't know what to think. I know it will take time but I am not seeing forward motion. I sometimes worry that I will know Joseph the rest of his life in institutions. The hardest part of all this is the inability to be able to help me son. I cant fix him, I cant take away his pain. I would give everything I own in this world to make him better.