Genetic Holocaust

The likelihood of developing bipolar disorder is many times greater in children with parents who have mood disorders. Researchers have observed that a first degree relative of a bipolar patient has a 13-35 % risk of developing a mood disorder. It has been consistently reported that the risk for a child increases significantly if a sibling has a mood disorder. That being said the psychiatrist have just diagnosed Christian. He started on Lithium last week. The bright spot in the sea of clouds is that the psychiatrist believe Christian is more of a "typical" presentation and not a severe as Joseph. Either way this sucks. The fear that we could be going through all this again. The fear that I will have another child I can't help. In all of this I am starting to question my own sanity. I am consumed with feelings of guilt, of every choice I have made as a parent. I get advice from everyone. Unfortunately it has come to a point that I don't think people even know what to say anymore. every direction I turn for answers I come up empty handed or with more questions. I am trying to put faith in the choices I am making and that the treatment or even diagnoses are right but the truth is I really don't know anymore. I feel so afraid and alone. I know that I have support from my family and friends and yet I feel a terrible weight on my heart that I am perpetually screwing up. Only time will tell I guess. Until I see positive results for both of my children I try desperately to hold on to hope that their lives will be happy and successful.